Strength

"If my heart is overwhelmed 
And I cannot hear Your voice 
I hold on to what is true 
Though I cannot see."
Kari Jobe- Love Came Down

Lately my heart has been more than overwhelmed. 

I feel helpless.....

hopeless.....

lost.....

And way too small and weak for this calling.

You know what God keeps telling me though?

"Sasha, you are, but I am not.  I am just asking you to be my hands and feet."

You see, I often fall into the trap of trying to do things in my own strength.

Can I let you in on a little secret?

That does NOT work.

At all!

This adoption is absolutely impossible without the Lord. If it were me, I would turn around and run the other way as fast as I possible could. Not because my heart is not in it and not because I do not want to adopt. Because if you really know me you know that this is CRAZY for me. I am a very fearful, timid, unorganized mess! Honestly. I know I cannot do this on my own. Not even a very small amount of it. This is just not me.

But it is God and it is what He is molding into me! I feel blessed that He would call someone like ME into something SO big for Him. I can guarantee He knows something about me that I do not! I cannot see myself the way God sees me and I do not know me like He does! All I know is what He is molding into me. A heart willing to follow. And that is EXACTLY what I am going to do. I know I am going to stumble and fall along the way. Have days of doubt and fear and thoughts of giving up. But I also know Who my strength comes from. It is just the learning to ask Him that I am struggling with. It's a good thing I serve a God who is forgiving and patient with me as I take this new journey with Him!

By the way, Please forgive my lack of writing skills! I am coming to figure out I am really not that great of a blogger!